i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
