1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we have officially lost it.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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