Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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