you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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