Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize