Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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