We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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