no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
