I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
