do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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