I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
