I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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