Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize