Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
