I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
