eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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