i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
