yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface