it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though