"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate