My nipple is on Facebook.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.