Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize