our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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