Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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