Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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