Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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