We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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