Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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