I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize