I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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