He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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