You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
