So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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