I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize