Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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