Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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