It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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