He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
well you can't waste a boner
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
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