Well douche your snatch and let's go!
are you so shy because you have an std?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
