i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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