One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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