is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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