Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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