Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
