I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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