Can Purell be used as lube?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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