i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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