Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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