I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
