Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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