your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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