he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize