best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
