I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
