She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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