Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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