the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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